Saturday, 13 August 2011

My Suicide Note: Dilemma of Death

   "Tell me the easiest and most painless way" (I have had many) I said to Sunny.
   "But why do want to die I mean if I was in your place I would have given party at highway glory.." said Sunny who was enjoying pastry with Pia his girl friend.
   "Oh really, My father is already giving a lots of them" I replied.
   "You are gone crazy man you have got 87%, I mean that's really great thing, I mean there are very few people in the world who gets such a great percentage in SSC, look at Pia she got only 60% but  still she is so cool" said Sunny.
    I didn't know that. But still after all she is a girl things are different for them I think Indian parents are happy when their girls don't get higher percentage I mean then they have an excuse for they cannot spent money on her education. But there are very few lucky parents like that.
    "Ya that's right.." said Pia (Happy or being humiliated don't know).
    "I can't see their faces Sunny, They are expecting me to go in I.T like my uncle and all" I said.
    "So what??" he asked.
    "SO WHAT?? So there is only 20% reservation for OBC which means near about 12.5 and my rank is 289 in merit list HOW THE F@#K AM I GOING TO GET IT??"  I replied.
    "That's a serious issue dude.. and for that you deserve a cold drink, Janu can you please get us three sprite's" said Sunny (How hard it is to be a girl friend of a super-stud super good-looking guy I just can't imagine).
     Pia stood up and went towards the counter to order for us happily (or must have been cursing us after turning away). Today eternity mall was't so crowded with people there were some old peoples, some businessmen guys waiting for others and few couples (who are always there, Are they paid for that??) in the cafeteria on first floor of eternity mall.
     As she went away I put down my head on my fist and began to cry. Sunny must have noticed that before that's why he sent her away (You know girls can't see any one crying and no one can see girls crying with two boys with her).
     " I am finished Sunny, There is no way now. I can't even tell my parents about that and also if I dare to tell then there is nothing good in it. Tell me the easiest way to die should I jump from here or sleep on the road or on the railway track on loha-Pul (Iron bridge), or should I drink something like... or.." I said.
     "You already have so many ideas adopt any one " he said chuckling.
     Well my this dilemma in my mind have came out and had reached a completely unemployed jobless  worthless to live on earth fu..ing old women. (Now it was her turn)
     "What are you a friend or what your friend is asking to commit suicide and you are helping him finding ideas rather than stopping him" she shouted at Sunny.
     (He wanted party look it started)
     "Excuse me are you talking to.." said Sunny.
     "Yes MORON I'm talking to you" said the old women (Grand-Mother India).
     "You bloody young generation cannot handle even a truck blowing your bike.. I wanna die.. are you a girl or what" said the women. Now entire lobby was surrounding me I was still head down on my hands.
     Another old man joined the party (Must be the old woman's boy friend)  "Is that your girl friend who left you don't be tensed dude she'll be back I'll talk to her" (Now I'm sure he is).
     The business men guys also came closer and one of them said "Look boy there are many hurdles yet to come in your life like how are you going to convince your parents her parents and you are crushed by his not good man come on get up and chill out".
     (Where is it going. These elders (idiots) think that we don't have any other problems.)  My head was paining and the energy surrounding me was turning into penetrating. They were testing my patience. I was in no mood to listen to this kind of old philosophy class. I stood up and started moving away. There was a military old man (or old military man whatever it is) who was silent and having coffee. I don't know what happened to him like a bee dropped into his coffee or what he just stood up and yelled.
     "Where are you going coward going to die you know you deserve it."
    (Oh boy....)
     That was the end. I turned around.
     "What I am a coward and what the f@#k are you SHAKTIMAAN. You bloody mother f@#kers do you know how hard it is not to get out of your house for an entire year, how hard it is to break connection with the entire world and get arrested into books for just f@#king you you people think that studding all night and scoring great marks is the only thing your children are supposed to do. Do you have the right to say that you a$$hole."
      "And we are the pets, pets to study, pets not to play pets not to do any thing and at last is what the f@#king 20% reservation and don't tell me that 87% is not so good type of category.But no then you will say
if you would have scored 5% more things would be different.. Is that so easy. we are suffering of corruption right from the primary levels."
      "I want to ask you some thing do SC, ST, NT and of course OPEN students don't go to school, Do they don't have the same books do they have alien teachers don't they get marks then what is the F@#king need of the reservation. If I am number 289 on merit list then just give the 289th seat na.. why there is a f@#king mathematics of 20% between it. You say I don't have the courage OK I don't have it if you have just go and change this f@#king system then talk to me until then just shut the F@#K up and drink your coffee."
      Every one was looking at me as I was SUBHASH CHANDRA BOSE asking for blood (of course in return he assured independence) I turned back and stepped on the elevator. My eyes were filled with tears who were struggling to come out. I went into to the parking lot sat on my Dio and cried my heart out.



      

Monday, 1 August 2011

The Burnout Part:2

{A sequel to Hmmm...}
    The previous part of this story had created a lot of controversy, that was when I had decided to write the second part. I was waiting for the right time and here comes the golden period. There was a deep secret (amongst many)  that is buried inside my heart.(Yaa.. now a days I use heart you know.. that is cool). The secret that many people wanted to know (for two days after that they forget about it) is going to be revealed.
     Recently I have heard that Pa.. (sorry what was his name??) Shailendra had got a job in Pune. That's great I mean after all he is a family man (with small small children). So he must be well settled by now and we are really happy for him (Don't take it seriously I'm just joking). 
    Those were the days when our final practicals of final year had finally started on and every one were in a great tension. There was a rumor that Mr. Crows (Kawde) was going to be our external for VC++ and that's why every body was studying there ass out. Just two or three days before I had published the blog titled "papa's burnout" which was a great success. Many of my friends had read the blog and were appreciating me and my way of writing.
     We all had agreed on the decision that we won't tell any girl or Shailendra about the blog I could afford one non reader than two enemies. That was nearly five minutes ago and later happened the DHAMAKAA..
    It was the regular act that I noticed throughout the three years I have spent in GP that we did not performed any of the practicals in entire semester and did all of them the night before and ten minutes prior to practicals we learnt how to save the program. Well I was doing the same thing when He came to me.
       "Sandeep Can you please come with me I want to talk some thing with you" said Shailendra.
      (He knows !! shitt!! I can feel it from his eyes.) The drops of aggression were falling from his eyes. He was totally red like before this time I was sure that volcano is going to burst in GP and all the magma would fall on me. Though he was showing a calm face but still I could notice that he was angry. (a point: I don't know any one noticed it or not but when shailendra is angry he looks like he gonna cry any time)
       "Ya one minute.." I said and looked at Abhilash who signaled with his hand that he is gonna chop your head. (well thank you  A true friend is very rare to be found and I haven't found it yet)
       "heyy come quick My roll number is going to come I want to talk its important.." said Shailendra.
       (ohh God!! please don't make him beat me I would not look at any girl with bad intentions)
       Seeing that there is no way out "Ok lets go.." I said.  
       We both went out of the class and he started "what is wrong with you??".
       I was about to answer when I saw Sonal Dhamecha from CM coming towards us. Ohh my Godd... she is damn hot. Since last three years I am only watching her legs. Though when I tried to stand in front of her she looked like my mum (only by her physique though I don't have a status of being her grandson). Cm guys were so lucky. I have heard that the girls there give their cell phone numbers to boys and here in I.T (Infinite Torture) the only relation between girls and boys was just they were in same class.    
       "Whatt??" Shailendra distracted me from my concentration.
       "What??" I asked trying to transfer my focus from CM to Shailendra (which was next to impossible).
       "What is your problem with me? have I ever did any thing wrong to you?? why did you do this to me???" He fired a trio on me. (I was wondering which one to answer first)
        Suddenly I saw Shamika (from CM) talking to Sonal on some secret topic and they both looked at me at the end with some wired faces. (Shitt!! do they also know). If Shailendra fires a punch on me (which is quite natural in such situation) then I'll loose all my respect that I've earned after the Era of.. 
      "Heyy dude I don't want to make this an issue we should talk some where in private" I said to Shailendra.
      "Where??" he asked.
      "I know a place."
       BOYS TOILET is the only place where we have a full assurity that the discussion won't be leaked among girls and in turn in the class. Also it acts as a very great platform for many porn artists to exhibit their unique talent on the walls ( You could find phone numbers and pictures of all the celebrities there).
       "Look dude it was just a funny piece of article" I started.
       "But why on that subject You know I am very sorry about that act I was very bad and possessive about her" (very bad is true, and what do you mean by "was possessive " have you lost your possession that can make a super-hit blog for me).
       "Ya I know but it is a funny piece of article" (I don't have much to say what I have got I said in the blog)
       "You got to delete the blog" he ordered.
       Are you nuts? you know what the hell it means it means Sandeep is scared though I am a little bit but this will be the only reason for the crushing of my super-stud image in the class.
       "No no man this cannot be happen You know that" I replied.
       "Don't try to wake the bad guy inside me you will regret after" He said in a firm voice.
       (wake-up sid saare pal kahe wake-up sid chal kahe chaleee...)     
       "You don't know me I am good then I am good and if I am bad then I am very baad" he said.
       (And if I get a football and we are on the ground then I am worst)
       "So you please delete the blog I don't want to make an issue in these last days in GP"
       (Unfortunately that turned to be only ours He has to spend an another year)  
      Seeing that the situation is growing tensed and he had closed his fist and was prepared for the punch I thought of Rohan (What would he do if anything happens to me and next progressive is in a week) No lets forgive Shailendra afterall he is our senior citizen and got some high position in the society.
       "OK dude I'll see what I can I do you just chill go and give your practicals " I assured him.
       "Can I trust you??" He asked.
      (Ofcourse not) "Yes sure " I replied and he went away.
       Well though the conversation was over I had a feeling that he was still present with me. My bladder was full of the excess water and was ready to burst out but I didn't had the courage to stand in front of the commode in a fear that he would return and kick me from back.
         Then came Dewaa and said " Heyy what are you looking at?? do what you suppose to do"
         "I don't have the courage"
         "Whatt".
         "Nothing .. Lets do it " I said.