Sunday, 4 December 2011

Mirage of Eternity (part-4)

Four years earlier
  The post campus period was worse than expected. The regular six months of training in all most all the metropolitan cities of India almost broke my connection with the social world. There were time when Prakash and I used to call and share our experiences on job every hour, which  then turned to days, week and now almost a month.
  But though in a very tight schedule I had always been supported and encouraged by a voice. Gauri and I though haven’t met more than twice since last six months, were closer to each other than ever. She used to tell about how eagerly she waited for completion of her graduation. Not to be a doctor but for the convocation.She used to tell about her experiments and her projects which only contained of cutting and repairing human bodies. She told me that many times they were mistaken in stitching the wounds of the body in the practical then she just used to cover it with the bandage.
  “Well If I ever got fractured take me to the topper of your class” I teased her on the call.
  “Don’t worry baby, I will personally take care of you and that too without any charge” she chuckled.
  “Oh my GOD”
  She laughed and my heart felt the joy.
  “OK serious now” she turned her tone “Have you talked about me with your parents?”
  “So what did they say?”
  “What do you expect?”
  There was a silence then.
  “Oh that is what you expect huh… You want my parents to reject you so that you get rid of me. Not any time soon baby” I teased her telling the approval from my side.
  “Oh no…I mean…Really they are going to accept me?” she asked in a surprised and a joyful tone. Though I was hundreds of kilometers away from her but still I felt the drop from her eyes. Or maybe it was just from mine?
  “What’s wrong in it? We both are capable, independent and will earn enough to support them fulfilling our needs. What more hey accept?” I said.
  “Your parents are really good people Aquib”
  “Why? Aren’t yours?” I teased.
  “Actually no”
  “What?” I was surprised.
  “I talked to them about our relationship and...” she paused.
  “And…what?” my heart beats increased.
  “And… They want me to marry any bullshit Doctor they have selected for me. I told her that I won’t be happy ever with him but they are not ready to understand. They say you will be well settled with a doctor. How come it is that I won’t settle with an engineer? You too earn the same as a doctor. In fact you will earn more than my father in an year or two”
  “As all of these didn’t work then they used the master weapon”
  “What is that?” I was amazed by the words she used.
  “I call it that as I know it creates huge problem”
  I knew what she was talking about.
  “They said you won’t be able to adjust in their community. You are unfamiliar with their customs and all. You will face left alone among them”
  “So what did you say?” I asked.
  “I said FINE”
   When she says FINE that means topic closed for now. JUST FOR NOW. It will be reopened another time with more support with her that time.
  “Gauri… You know what, If they thinks such a way then they are right”
  “What?” she was confused.
  “I don’t want to marry you without their permission. If they are happy and accept me as I am then only we’ll move on”
  “What are you saying? This is not going to happen. At least in this life”
  “I am all yours for my all the lives darling” I said.
  “You are mad or what? If in every life we are not of religion or caste then we won’t get married ever. And why should we care about what they say? You are capable I’ll be soon, then what’s the problem?” She tried to explain.
  “The problem is that they gave birth to us. We owe them this life. We have their responsibility. They are the one who decide for us” I said calmly.
  “You are such a mama’s boy. You are arguing me for my parents disapproval Aquib have you forgot or what?” she tried to change the topic.
  “I know that. But this is not about your or mine parents, It’s just about parents. Just because we are capable that doesn’t mean that we underestimate their decisions. They are equally important now as they were ten years before”
  “And you know what they were wrong ten years ago and I can bet they are wrong now also?” Now she was growing tensed “I wanted to be a fashion designer but they forced me into medical and have suffered for five years. Now you want me let them another decision so that my entire life should be ruined”
  “I don’t understand why you people think that your parents have ruined your lives. I mean if you were not in medical then would we have ever met, would we have ever fall in Love?” I said.
  “But we are no, that’s the best part of it. But their narrow mentality about this classism and racism that is so ridiculous” she was screaming now.
  “Stop screaming Gauri” I also increased my pitch.
  “Then what I am supposed to do? I expect you to be a hero, and you are running away from the truth like a coward” she replied.
  “I am not a coward. I am just accepting the truth. And being hero doesn’t meant breaking the rules of the society”
  “Aquib this is not DDLJ where a charming hero will impress the parents of the bride and take her away. This is real life and real life is more complex. You have to take some horrible decisions that your heart doesn’t allow you to”
  “Gauri I am not the extraordinary Hero what you expect in me. If your parents are not ready then I won’t marry you” I declared my decision.
  “You know what they called you. They called you barbarians. They said you people don’t have a life style you are un educated, orthodox”
  I kept silent.
  “And you know what?” she paused for a minute “They are right”
  A sudden flow of current was experienced by my body.
  “You are un educated narrow minded people. You will never grow up with the society. Let the world make any progress you people will be the same backward orthodox bullshit, never going to change at all” she was yelling at me.
  “Oh then why don’t you change us?” I also started yelling.
  “That too you won’t allow me”
  “You’ll do the same thing if you find anything in my family” I asked her in anger.
  “Yes I’ll do it. If it is wrong then I’ll do it”
  “I’ll not tolerate ant thing against my family do you understand?” I yelled.
  “Look you are proving your selves about your mentality” she laughed in anger.
  “Thank God, you told me that by now. You change your society and I’ll change mine” saying that I hung up.
   I didn’t know what I had done. This was for the first time I had yelled on her or we had argued on any subject. I was cursing myself for what I had done. I wanted to call her back and say sorry but then sounded the words in my mind. You are uneducated orthodox people. Is that what she thinks about me? Is that what she thinks about my family? If it is true then I am not wrong.

   SIX MONTHS PASSED OUT in this dilemma within my mind. Whether to call or not? Was the only cycle running inside my head? After the one year training and experiences on every department was over I was sent back to Nagpur as it was my home town. The company appointed me as one of developer in the team.
  As almost all the students of the batch were in the town we had planned a get together. Prakash could not make through campus interviews hence he started his own software development firm and was going good though with limited clients. He had two other developers working with him as partners and shared equal in the revenue that was generated.
  The reunion party was fun. It seemed like all the friends who were lost had met again. Initial condition was little emotional with warm hugs to boys and shake hands with girls which later turned into the stories of fun in their respective jobs.
   I was standing at the bar holding glass of soft drink and having a sip as slow as it was beer or rum. The cycle still went on inside. What was wrong what was right? I was confused. I knew I loved her and she was not going to get out of my mind and heart ever in my life. But the distraction that was created in my mind was pulling me away from her.
   “So wussup, My friend?” Prakash tapped me with his hand on my back.
  “Nothing much..” I said in a sab voice.
  “I said wussup with her?” I knew what he was asking about.
  “We broke up?”
  “I know”
  “You know, how?” I was confused as I have not told anyone about it.
   “She called me once” he said drinking a sip of drink he ordered for himself.
  “Oh… What did she said?”
   “She said you are not interested in her and was inquiring about if someone else was there in your life”
    “Such a fool” I murmured.
   “I too said the same”
   “Then what? She hung up” he drank another sip.
   “That’s it? You didn’t ask her about what happened?” I asked Prakash.
   “Why should I ask her? You are my friend not she, I am supposed to ask you. So what happened tell me?” he asked
   “Her parents disapproved”
  “And what, her parents disapproved that’s it”
  “And you broke up?” now Prakash was confused.
  “OK...We had a little argument, about her convincing her parents as I did mine” I told him the story in short.
  “You wanted her to convince her parents. That’s why they said no. You know how she is though she tries to say something good it turns into bad. She must have yelled on her parents as she yelled on you and that must have created a bad impression on them of yours”  
   How did he know that she yelled on me?
  “You should have personally met them. And impress them with your wits as you impressed the info-dudes. You are PATHAN my brother. Show them your style, your standard and of course your culture buddy. Make the entire family fall in love with you”
  His motivational speech had encouraged me. Now it was not about proving my love it was about proving my culture and heritage.
  “Hey but I have broken up with her, actually I have also yelled on her. Would she forgive me?” I said remembering how I spoke with her.
  “Hmm that’s the problem. Tomorrow she is leaving you should meet her and do whatever you can” Prakash said drinking another sip.
  “She is leaving? And what about her convocation, she was waiting eagerly for that” I asked in surprised.
  “She surely doesn’t want to attend. Now you have another reason to stop her…Cheers” he said raising his glass.
  Yes I should stop her, the convocation was her dream. She can’t miss it because of me. She is such a fool.
  I got up, determined to stop her, tell her how much I loved her, convince her parents, and spend my entire life with her. But I shouldn’t have…
(To be continued...)
Next part: Mirage of Eternity (Part-5)

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