Sunday, 15 June 2014

Relationship Status..

Some dates can go terribly wrong. (For ex. What is Worst?)
With an experience of some really bad dates I have concluded to a analysis that; if on earth any time I go out with a girl, there has to be a fiasco. So keeping away my emotional feeling about the privacy with girl (Or may be sexual feelings) I try to keep my friends around whenever I go out with “her” (Any of them).
But Bad days comes with a well-planned strategy while the good ones just pass waving hands like (another) “she” going out of house after the (you know what) good time. The day or to be precise the night came up with the event marked of (yet another) get together of friends at a friend’s place. Living out of home town for so called working purpose is a reason to get out of the everyday lecture of parents about the embarrassment they face every day when they see you half naked sleeping in your shitty room and thinking of what wrong they actually did “then” that gave birth to this creature (awesome one). Although this embarrassment is not over yet as the financial part of the creature is still with them.
So we were such creatures graduated from engineering and placed in awesome jobs doing marketing, customer relationship, BPO and all those stuff that wasn’t even close to the syllabus we studied. It was just these get together that was holding us and giving the courage to go on in a hope of the “miracle”. However each party costs around 500K each from the meager salary and huge debt from parents.
Party started with rape of some really awesome songs and recording sessions in smart phones of the super singers of the team. Every Engineer has a talent that he recognizes till the end of the four year course. But then the time has fled away and all that left is a really emotional story of murder of a talent, whose responsibility is evenly distributed among society, parents and the engineering college management. This is when one beer comes to an end.
The Girl friend part of the team do not support the fact of drinking and smoking for few days but later they the leaders of the gang with some well researched brands.  After everybody one beer down starts the real story.
That fine day: (‘Coz this one’s special)
“Come on Sunny… You have to take the dare… we know all truths about you” said Ronny in the stupid after drunk Truth and dare game.
“Yea Buddy be a man” Ishan (The guy who says all is) “Yea buddy be a man”.
“Do it na... Everybody is insisting so much” Kitty (The girl of dreams who is now the biggest confusion of life).
After thinking (wasting) for some seconds “Ok tell me what you got” I said.
Now this is the go signal. The only last job of every friend’s life let it be a boy or a girl in the circle is to bring out that commitment from within you that you were running from since all the days of engineering years. But the real problem was “Abhi to sath baithne ki himmat aaye hai… Propose maar ke agar usne nahe bol dia to dil tootne se maut ho jayegi aur ha bol dia (galti se ) to heart attack se”.
“Change it” Rimmy says. (The girl who suddenly becomes dominant in such situations)
“What??” I asked.
“Your Facebook’s relationship status” said Ronny.
“What are you serious?” said Kitty. (Blushing I don’t know why?)
“No way...” I replied.
“You have to... No other way, Remember when you asked me to ring the doorbell of everyone’s flat in apartment in 2 o’clock. You have to do it bastard” said Ishant.
Everybody paused and looked at him.
“Come on buddy be a Man” (Yes, now his sentence was over. Officially)
“Are you kidding me.. I can’t do this my family members are on facebook” I tried to excuse though everybody knew none in my family have touched internet in their entire life.
“Don’t you love her.” Rimmy asked.
*That Awkward silence*
*That frightening look from her*
*That laughter in everybody else’s stomach which was to trying hard to explode*
“It’s not like thaaaa…”..
“Ohh…. Hussshhh” expressions from “her” and them before even me completing.
“I you don’t do they you have to bear punishment” announced Ishant.
*Beer for everybody*
*Total = 1200 *
“Do we have internet or again we are sneaking into neighbor’s wifi?”


After the dinner which is actually some time closer to breakfast time around 3 in morning, Kitty came up with an idea to go for a walk out of nowhere. Absolutely that was another misconception among others and we two love-ly birds are in middle of the road in dark new moon night.
The biggest fear of my life is dogs, I can run twice my speed, drive four times faster and even fly if needed. After a walk around the apartment when we came back, there was this dog standing on the main gate with his tail up.
*Tail up means you are F@#ked up*
Dog on the way means, No way I am going that way.
“Comeon, you coward he is not going to eat you” said kitty.
He is not going to eat you”
He is not going to eat you”
He is going to eat you”
He is going to eat you” the words were roaming around in my mind.
“I am not going that way” I declared.
“Come on be a Man” she said. I looked at her with narrowed eyes.
She was pulling my hand inside and I was dragging her outside. When a sound (rather a roar), landed on my ears.
I turned back and there were two police officers standing there. And obviously from our positions and my appearance I was already standing behind the tihad bars.
I left her hands and moved slightly away from her. The officers approached.
Madamji… Was he teasing you?” The fat one asked.
“No sir... Actually” I tried to explain and…
*faad faad*
Two slaps already on my cheeks.
*Tears rolling*
“Tell me ma’am… What’s the problem” The fat one continued.
This is the ultimate concentration of power in one hand. She looked at me and waited for a few seconds. My heart beats were already echoing around the world. One wrong statement from her even in state of panic situation and my life is fucked up.
“Sir he… He is my boyfriend.” She replied.
“Boy friend???” the inspector looked at me and then at his associate.
E boy friend… Saabji kahi laundia wo to nahe?” the pure north Indian Hindi accent.
Wo matlab?
Saabji wohi….. Night rider” both eyes at me, the on her.
Indian society Facts:       1. Handsome boy and Average girl : Boy is womanizer.
                                        2. Average boy and Beautiful girl : Girl is a Whore.
So since in our case she was a “Night Rider” describes my appearance.
“No No sir… We really are friends.. Look at our facebook status it shows we are in relationship” she said all in single breath.
(Facebook status? I mean seriously… Mere begunahi ka sabot mera relationship status hai? )
Saabji laundiya sahi bol rahi hai.. Facebook status ke sath koi ched khani na kare..” The associate added.
(What the hell!!!)
The two checked the facebook accounts. Yes we were strongly openly and just-few-hours-ago-ly in relationship. The officer looked at me and asked “ Why were you pulling each other on the gate, by the way?”.
“Sir there was a dog on the gate, he is afraid of dogs and I was tell him not to be” Kitty said.
*Embarrassment Returns (Never went actually)*
The two looked at me and then on the gate. Man’s best friend was not there.
*More embarrassment now with Kitty joining me*
“Hmm whatever it is.. Go and sleep in you houses, don’t roam out side in night. World is not that safe now a days.” The officer said and started to move away. Kitty also started to move inside the apartment. I just turned when a hand held me on shoulders.
Betaji naam number aur username likh liye hai… 6 mahene tak monitor hongi, relation status zara sambhal ke rakhio..” the police man said.
I gave him an awkward smile and started walking to the flat. I don’t know whether he was kidding or not, but the sense of fear is surely going to make this relationship even stronger than before. I guess I suddenly was getting the concept behind the huge success rate of arrange marriage over…

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